.::REALITYRECALL::.

Video games don’t have the greatest history of pandering to the tastes of women. That’s probably because so many game devs are frustrated nerdy dudes working out their own issues via XML. This explains why so many female game protagonists are smoking hot redheads who want to hook up with the nerdiest NPC in the game. It also explains why women in video games tend to be… busty.

Think we’re kidding? Go to your cabinet now and pick a game. Any game. Fact is, just like how every technological advance is popularized by porn, every step in the evolution of gaming is marked by the diligence of programmers with the sexual maturity of 12 year old boys, working day and night to put breasts into games whether they need to be there or not.

Sexist? Often. Sleazy? Probably. But it’s possible that the insistence on increasingly realistic breasts in games helped usher in the more adult themes we’ve come to take for granted in gaming over the decades. Or at least we’re telling ourselves that to assuage our guilt. Here are the 40 greatest boobs in video game history.

40) Samus Aran

This was the reward you got for beating 1986′s Metroid in record time. Nowadays it would be ‘Achievement unlocked: basement dweller!’

39) Eve from Leisure Suit Larry

Eve is who you got to hot tub with in 1987, when you beat Leisure Suit Larry. It’s primitive, but in the 80s people could only see in 8 bits and 4 colors.

38) Felicia (Darkstalkers version, 1994)

By the early 90s it got a lot easier to pander. Witness the birth of cosplay.

37) Morrigan (Darkstalkers version, 1994)

Yeah, there’s a reason 12 year olds packed arcades into the late 90s. Now soliciting joystick puns.

36) Sarah Morrison from Tabula Rasa

Remember what we said earlier about redheads? Here’s your proof.

35) Joanna Dark from Perfect Dark

The thing is, Joanna never does this in the game. She’s too busy breaking and entering and killing Datadyne honchos to seduce anyone.

34) Lara Croft from Tomb Raider

If video games had a ‘jiggle’ era, it was almost certainly initiated with Tomb Raider. I also blame this game for the popularity of Daisy Dukes.

33) Andariel from Diablo 2

Speaking of redheads, what is it with fantasy games and demons with human breasts? I’m pretty sure demons aren’t mammals.

32) Sonya Blade from Mortal Kombat

After Mortal Kombat, fighting game makers decided large, barely-covered breasts were the best defense in a fight. This sounds like bad advice for real life. Unless guys want to try using their nuts as a shield.

31) Mileena from Mortal Kombat

When you play Mortal Kombat, you’re going see some cleavage. It’s in the company handbook.

30) Kitana from Mortal Kombat

You’ll also see sideboob. No it doesn’t make any sense to us either.

29) Ivy Valentine from the Soulcalibur series

Soulcalibur saw Mortal Kombat’s ante and raised it considerably. Where Mortal Kombat had unrealistic scantily clad-ness, Soulcalibur had… well, gratuitous and unnecessary are words that come to mind. Note that Ivy’s weapon of choice is a whip with blades on it. And a bikini. There’s Christian subtext, I’m sure of it.

28) Taki from the Soulcalibur series

Two questions: 1) how is that outfit so form fitting?; 2) No seriously, how do you make navel-conforming cloth?

27) Seong Mi-Na from the Soulcalibur series

Judging by her outfit, Seong Mi-Na clearly went to the Miss Manners fetish academy for creepy western men.

26) Sophitia from the Soulcalibur series

Ok, now they’re just pandering. Come on guys.

25) Cassandra from the Soulcalibur series

At least her bustier straps are leather. That’s a little actual support. Because overflow is a problem and really, underwire is bad for working out. And I’m sure that’s exactly what the devs were thinkings.

24) Anna Williams from Tekken

You’d never know it but she’s the world’s oldest woman. The secret is competing in The King of Iron Fist Tournament, and pandering to desperate nerds.

23) Michelle Change from Tekken

Tekken is the king of weird fetish fuel. Michelle here is wearing a bikini and an Indian headdress. She’s at the Tekken tournament because she got lost on her way to Coachella

22) Christie Monteiro from Tekken

This is just… really blatantly pandering. No shame at all.

21) Felicia (Marvel Vs. Capcom version)

This is probably the basis of 50% of all Comic Con costumes.

20) Lulu from Final Fantasy X

Final Fantasy has pioneered the existential angst + gratuitous TnA school of storytelling.

19) The Cimmerian Woman from Age of Conan

Q: Conan, what is best in life?

A: To crush your enemies. To see them driven before you. To holy crap how could anyone sword fight in that?

18) Bloodrayne

I can’t help but think Bloodrayne is looking you in the eye and saying ‘my blades are up here idiots!”

17) Rachel from Ninja Gaiden

I really wish they hadn’t let John Millius consult on the Ninja Gaiden series.

16) Lady from Devil May Cry

You think this game is about vampires, but she’s wondering what, exactly, is the matrix?

15) The Everquest Cover Elf

F2P is l33t for ‘NSFW’.

14) Kasumi from Dead or Alive

Dead or Alive (to Tekken): you see, the problem is that you haven’t really considered how little clothing is needed in life or death combat.

Tekken: What’s ‘clothing’?

13) Lei-Fang from Dead or Alive

Dead Or Alive (to Tekken): See what we mean?

Tekken: oh I see. Volleyball really is the most dangerous game.

12) Asari Dancer in Mass Effect

Apparently, in the future gentleman’s clubs still don’t feature readings of Hume.

11) Morrigan (Marvel Vs. Capcom version)

This is the other 50% of all Comic Con costumes.

10) Miranda from Mass Effect 2

I promise this is saved by context. Miranda is doing it on purpose.

09) Tifa from Final Fantasy VII

Tifa is the existential crisis version of Lara Croft. The only thing desperate devs love more than redheads is clinical depression.

08) Isabela from Dragon Age 2

Isabela is actually an exceptionally well written character. But her designer really needs to check out non augmented bodies from time to time. Because those… aren’t breasts.

07) Shura from Soulcalibur 4

It’s not difficult to be the most practically-dressed female character in a Soulcalibur game.

06) Samus Aran (Modern version)

And once again, we have a ridiculously form-fitting jumpsuit. Thing is, it isn’t even necessary. We’re more interested in unlocking the Wave Beam.

05) Mai Shiranui from Fatal Fury and King of Fighters

Sometimes you can only marvel at design decisions. “How much support and protection does this offer?” “None.” “Excellent. Now could you rastafy her by 30%?”

04) Anne from Jurassic Park: Tresspasser

You’d think it wouldn’t be possible to shoehorn gratuitous breasts onto the playable character in a FPS. You’d be wrong. We can’t cure cancer but by god we’re going to put boobs into a genre that normally won’t let you see shoes. Our civilization will last forever.

03) Jade from Mortal Kombat

This is an example of the Mortal Kombat team showing restraint.

02) Yangus from Dragon Quest

You have to admit: 30+ years of boobs R&D have made spectacular manboobs possible.

01) The Brood Mother from Dragon Age: Origins

These are the greatest boobs ever put into a game ever. And no, you cannot have my brain bleach. I just drank all of it.

Smartphones on Canadian high-speed networks are not coming close to getting the speeds the networks’ advertisements say they deliver, new tests suggest.

Windows only: Google Docs is a great on-the-go and collaboration tool, but using the webapp to upload and download files is a little slow. SyncDocs keeps your Google Docs library in sync with a local folder on your computer for easy access. More »

Microsoft has launched a new Canadian-based online advertising campaign aimed at trying to convince consumers that they should once again choose a Windows PC over a Mac.

According to The Inquirer, the campaign is entitled “Do the math” and offers up a varying range of personal computers from Apple while showing…

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Cross-posted from the Official Google Blog

When we launched Google Earth in 2005, most of us were still using flip phones. At the time, the thought of being able to cart around 197 million square miles of Earth in your pocket was still a distant dream. Last year, that dream came to fruition for Android users when we released Google Earth for Android. With the recent release of tablets based on Android 3.0, we wanted to take full advantage of the large screens and powerful processors that this exciting new breed of tablets had to offer.

Today’s update to Google Earth for Android makes Earth look better than ever on your tablet. We’ve added support for fully textured 3D buildings, so your tour through the streets of Manhattan will look more realistic than ever. There’s also a new action bar up top, enabling easier access to search, the option to “fly to your location” and layers such as Places, Panoramio photos, Wikipedia and 3D buildings.

Moving from a mobile phone to a tablet was like going from a regular movie theatre to IMAX. We took advantage of the larger screen size, including features like content pop-ups appearing within Earth view, so you can see more information without switching back and forth between pages.

One of my favorite buildings to fly around in Google Earth has always been the Colosseum in Rome, Italy:

With the larger tablet screen, I can fly around the 3D Colosseum while also browsing user photos from Panoramio. The photos pop up within the imagery so I can interact with them without losing sight of the Colosseum and its surroundings. Also, by clicking on the layer button on the action bar, I can choose which layers I want to browse.

This version is available for devices with Android 2.1 and above. The new tablet design is available for devices with Android 3.0 (Honeycomb) and above. Please visit the Google Earth help center for more information.

To download or update Google Earth, head to m.google.com/earth in your device’s browser or visit Android Market. Enjoy a whole new world of Google Earth for tablets!

Posted by Peter Birch, Product Manager

A NASA probe circling the Earth has found evidence that confirms two key predictions based on Albert Einstein’s theory of general relativity.

About 2,000 school teachers rallied in front of the legislature in Regina on Thursday morning as part of a day of job action.

If you have trouble sleeping, you're definitely not alone. More than half of US adults experience some symptom of insomnia at least a few nights a week. To help us get more of that elusive thing called sleep—and address issues beyond insomnia, like snoring, "monkey brain", and difficulty waking—we enlisted the help of a sleep specialist. Here's what we learned. More »

Cue up “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” and call up the Wettest Bandits you know – the Winnetka home from the blockbuster 1990 film “Home Alone” is up for sale. [ more › ]

LastPass noticed a possible security issue with one of their databases and is now requiring some users to change their master password. If you’ve been having issues with the service but haven’t seen this notice yet, this may explain your problems. Also, oh really? You’d think a password vault would be a little more impervious than say, the PlayStation Network. But I really like how they responded to this intrusion. More »

Scientists have for the first time discovered a ‘happiness gene’, which works by regulating the transport of serotonin in the brain.

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Like two knights jostling for the hand of a fair maiden, both Facebook and Google appear to be courting the graces of Skype. A source close to Facebook recently told Reuters that CEO Mark Zuckerberg is thinking about buying Skype outright, as part of a deal that could be worth $3 to $4 billion. A second source, meanwhile, claimed that both Facebook and Google are more interested in forming a joint venture with the teleconferencing company, which has yet to issue an IPO. With discussions still in a nascent stage, both suitors are playing their cards close to their chests, while Skype, rather coyly, has declined to comment on the speculation. At this point, details are still hazy and rumor-infused, though it’s certainly not shocking to hear these kinds of murmurs buzzing around. Skype’s been integrating Facebook more deeply into its software for a while now and has gradually branched out to Android, as well (albeit with mixed results). Both Facebook and Google would also stand to benefit from Skype’s millions of users and all the targeted advertising potential they’d offer. Until we receive more substantiated reports, however, all discussions of possible unions remain restricted to the realm of conjecture.

Facebook, Google rumored to be vying for Skype deal originally appeared on Engadget on Thu, 05 May 2011 06:49:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink   |  Reuters  | Email this | Comments

The Playbook’s 7-inch stature didn’t bother our reviewer Matt so much, but people are whispering that RIM is preparing a larger 10-inch size, to go head-to-head with the iPad/Motorola Xoom. BGR is hearing it’ll be later this year, and that the newly-announced BlackBerry Bold 9900/9930 handset’s “summer” launch is expected to be August at the earliest. [BGR] More »

If you are a tech head, you’ve probably amassed quite a collection of miscellaneous cables that you aren’t currently using, but might need later on. Keep them organised and tangle-free with a few toilet paper tubes in a box. (more…)

Saskatchewan’s rural roads are taking a beating from all the excess moisture in the province, the minister of highways is warning.

U.S. President Barack Obama won’t release photos of Osama bin Laden after he was killed in Pakistan by Navy Seals because doing so would risk national security.

Like we did with WordPress 3.1, we are here again to keep you updated with what might be coming ahead in WordPress 3.2. After the delayed release of WordPress 3.1, the goal in the future is to have faster release cycles. Mark Jaquith has taken command to make sure that everyone stays focused to get the job done as fast as possible. So lets check out what is exciting in WordPress 3.2.

Note: The screenshots below are very new and not even alpha version yet. Chances are that they will be changed, improved, upgraded etc by the time the full release comes out.

New Admin Layout

Through out the past, WordPress user interface has evolved (Check out our article that shows you the evolution of WordPress user interface from 2003 – 2009). In this release, we are finally seeing another major refresh of the design. The goal behind this is to make everything much more simpler and cleaner. So check out some of the images below:

Note: You can click on the image to make it bigger

Dashboard View

Themes View

Menus View

Widgets View

Plugins View

New Post View

Distraction Free Writing

This has been part of the plan for quite some time now. In WordPress 3.1, the writing interface was cleaned up a little by hiding Custom Fields and such by default. In WordPress 3.2, a new distraction Free write panel is coming along that lets you make your writing interface full screen, so you can focus just on the content rather than other tidbits on the screen. The goal is to make the writing experience more lightweight and calming.

Twenty Eleven Theme

Did you remember with WordPress 3.0, a new theme was introduced known as Twenty Ten? Well in WordPress 3.2, plans are to release a new theme called Twenty Eleven. The goal is to have new and fresh default designs for WordPress more frequently rather than repeating the Kubrick theme situation all over again. For those who don’t know, Kubrick was the default theme for a very very long time. This theme comes with two color schemes:

This new Twenty Elven theme also comes with a Theme Options page that lets you pick color schemes and layout. (Hmm, sounds like a Paid Theme but FREE, WOOT!!) – Mad Props to the WordPress UI team.

There is also new templates that are added for pages. By default the page templates are with No-Sidebar. There is a Sidebar version, and also a very interesting Showcase option that has a slider built-in. It was a little buggy on the local host, so we are not posting screenshots of it just yet.

One of the most wanted feature is added in the Twenty Eleven Theme’s Header Images area which lets you show Random Images on each page. Many users wanted to see that feature previously. This looks like a very neat feature.

Upgrade Improvements

While the upgrade system right now is not bad, it can certainly be improved. In WordPress 3.2 and further, when an upgrade is available, only the changed files will be upgraded thus cutting down slow upgrade times for some users.

Speed Improvements

WordPress still support some of the older technologies in the CORE which will be dropped in this version to make it load FASTER! Nacin is looking at PHP lazy loading. A patch is in the work to make the admin menu load faster as well as making the FTP improvements that would upgrades a lot faster.

New PHP and MySQL Requirements

WordPress 3.2 will require PHP 5.2.4+ and MySQL 5. So if you want to upgrade to this version, then make sure your host is using it already. Quality WordPress Hosts are already using the latest technology. We recommend HostGator. If you want to check if your host is compatible with WordPress 3.2, then download the plugin called WordPress Requirements Check. This plugin will let you know whether your host is on latest technology. If they are not, then we would suggest asking them to upgrade, or switch hosts.

You can start testing yourself by downloading the Nightly Builds. It is fun and exciting to see the new features. According to the Roadmap, WordPress 3.2 is expected to be released around June 30, 2011.

Live Demo for WordPress 3.2

Upon popular request, we are creating this Live Demo site for you to get the look and feel of WordPress 3.2 admin panel, and the twenty eleven theme. Live WordPress 3.2 Demo

Let us know what you think about it.

What’s Coming in WordPress 3.2 (Features & Screenshots) is a post from: WPBeginner which is not allowed to be copied on other sites.

Related posts:

1. What’s Coming in WordPress 3.1 (Features)
2. What’s Coming in WordPress 3.0 (Features)
3. What’s New in WordPress 3.1 (“Reinhardt) Features and Screenshots